Toodles & the Tribulation

Are you a dog-loving dispensationalist? Do you enjoy cuddling with your kitten while watching Kirk Cameron? Have you ever wondered if you could grab Toodles the poodle as you are being raptured so you can bring him with you? If so, "Eternal Earth-Bound Pets" is for you. From their site:

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind. We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.We are currently active in 22 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable. For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends."

Now, I must admit I am jealous I didn't think of this idea first. If I had, my seminary tuition would have been easily covered, sadly. Wow.

(Props: Beebz)